Kara is 17 years old, this is her story.
“Where I live is pretty hectic: there’s mum, my stepdad and me. Then there’s my siblings, half siblings and step siblings. I suppose we are quite a complicated family.
There’s never much to do at home, except look after the babies. It’s loud. Mum’s always busy with the house and dad’s at work or down the pub. To be honest he’s never really here. Social Services have been visiting since I was little. They check everything’s ok and we seem to get by.
I do my best to help out when I can but sometimes it feels like I’m the third parent and no one’s looking after me. My parents try but they don’t really seem to have much time for me. I guess they think I’m old enough to sort myself out.
I started going to The Door’s youth club when I started secondary school. It was far more fun hanging out with my friends, playing games and talking to youthworkers than being in the dreary chaos at home.”
Community Youthworkers continue the story:
“Kara’s great, always at the centre of youth club, on hand to help out or get stuck in with activities.
Last year we saw a change in her behaviour. She was quieter and spending more time on her own. So we asked what was going on.
Money was tight at home and dad was drinking more. She was struggling to sleep after her mum had another baby and she was worrying about her school work.
While we were talking it was clear that Kara didn’t really know how to express how she was feeling – everything was so transactional. We suggested to her to apply for a mentor and Kara agreed.“
Kara continues:
“Life had got pretty rough, but I remember just wanting to push through, thinking if I could sleep at youth club and do my homework on the bus I would be alright. I didn’t really know what a mentor would do but I wanted to give it a try.
My mentor’s called Shelagh and she’s really friendly. We’ve been meeting for a year now and it’s helped me so much.
When we started I was in year 11 working towards my GCSE’s. I really wanted them to go well so I could go to
college and get the qualifications to get a good job. The problem was that the last year had been so difficult that things weren’t looking great. Shelagh helped me plan my revision and talk to my teachers about getting help during school.
We’ve also talked about my feelings and what it’s like at home. We made some boundaries with my mum so that I get to be a child a bit more and have my own space at home.
When my exams started I suddenly got really anxious and kept having panic attacks. Shelagh helped me through them and taught me some coping mechanisms. I still missed a few sessions but I got to sit most of them.
Results day came around and I was terrified. I video-called Shelagh to open the envelope with me. I was completely amazed to see that I had passed everything. OK, it wasn’t top grades but it was enough to get onto the course I wanted at college. And that’s all I really needed.
So now I’m at college, I still go to youth club and I still meet with Shelagh once a week but most importantly I’m moving in the right direction.
I’m so thankful to The Door and Shelagh for all they have done for me, who knows where I would be without them.”
In order to protect the identities of our service users, some details including names and places may have been changed in our stories, but the challenges and successes described are all real.
